Coming Back To Self
You can also view this visual exercise on our youtube channel or scroll to the end to watch!
Almost as soon as we enter this world, we’re being programmed to “fit in.”
We often find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and those who love us. Sometimes, that means suppressing what you know as the real you, hiding on the inside; and yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
On many levels, the hiding and suppression are likely misaligned with your highest good.
Do you actually know who you are? Without a healthy understanding and intimate relationship with your truest self, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.
The path to knowing one's self is a personal and deeply spiritual one, requiring vulnerability, patience, and judgment-free curiosity. Oftentimes, the models in our lives miss the mark when searching for examples of what this looks like in practice, so here are a few tips for getting started:
Quiet the noise in your head
You know those voices, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the pace, hustle beyond your capacity, curate that IG story, keep your boss happy, browse those dating apps, schedule that appointment, book that flight, feverishly check your phone, etc.
Stop, just for a few moments.
With all that noise going on, it's nearly impossible for you to hear anything above your to-do lists. Taking a pause MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough flow in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance and ease, instead of lack and worry. Adopt a mindfulness practice such as grounding, breathwork, visualization, gentle movement, or meditation to create quiet opportunities for mental rest and reset.
Practice higher-self thinking
In order to do this, you must first believe and become anchored in knowing that you are valuable and that your 'real self' has something to offer the world. You talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined, and that’s a lot of talk!—So it’s up to you to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say and immediately challenge them, replacing them with facts. Ex: Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.” Once you establish a pattern of rerouting the energy of negative self-talk, you'll find yourself more easily speaking affirming truths that actually align with your highest good.
Check-in with your heart space
By the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts, operating primarily with our heads, detaching from intuition and inner guidance. Those two must reconnect in order to return to our truest form of self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of actually feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask yourself how it feels and why's it important. Allow your heart to speak, and your mind to listen. Take inventory of what comes up.
Realign with what feels good inside
What you’re really after is a feeling, and true knowing -- safety, respect, love, joy, appreciation - as opposed to the partner, the job, the outcome, the event, etc. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to observe and adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies and aligns with who you really are. When you honor the desires of your highest good, you'll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually embody your inner truth -- And, that's worth working toward, right?
